For several years now I have been working on my spirituality. I have a great spiritual leader, Ruby, who lets me know when I start to let go and stop my spiritual work. My life seems to fall apart a bit when I stop the work. (By the way you can find Ruby, at Ruby's Readings.)
I have also started following Jen Duchene who is a great numerologist. I have found that astrology and numerology provide similar information. One of the things that Jen was talking about today was letting go and being free. That is one thing that I have to work on. What is it I have to let go of? Control. Why do I have control? I am shackled by fear.
I was raised that you have to work, even if you are miserable in the job, you have to work and pay your bills. Well yes, you have to pay your bills, but you don't necessarily have to work a miserable job.
I have spent much of my adult life searching and looking for the one thing I enjoy. I enjoy writing and helping others. In my full time forty hour work week, half of my job is spent helping others in the community. Love fills me completely when I am doing this. The other half is spent in billing. Hate, anxiety, and other very negative emotions fill up in me when I am sitting in the office doing the billing.
Fear has shackled me from leaving my full time job and working on strictly blogging, my guest features, and writing novels and novellas. The fear is not being able to pay my bills and feed my kids. The fear of failing.
Here is a story. Now I love my grandpa, may he be resting in peace. God love this man. He had such a great heart, but fear of having nothing shackled him. I know this came from growing up in the depression.
Do you remember Hurricane Katrina? During that time, organizations were collecting sheets and blankets for the people affected by the hurricane. I had an over abundance of sheets. I told my grandpa I was going to donate all of my sheets except for two sets for my bed and two sets for my son's bed. He told me not to do that because I may need those sheets. I thought to myself, for what? Why do I need so many sheets? I went home and bagged up those sheets, two large trash bags full and donated them. Never did I come into a need for sheets.
I need to learn to let go of my fear like I let go of those sheets. I know my shackles break free a little more each time I put my trust into the Universe, but it is hard to fully let of the control and hand it over.
Does the shackles of fear affect you? If so, how?
love this post Lisa and your vulnerability. I have definitely felt the shackles of fear. I am glad to say less and less fear and more and more love fill my heart. Thank you for the mention.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I think I am releasing a little more each day.
DeleteWow! Your words of wisdom truly resonate within me. I too spent my youth in the hollow pursuit of happiness steered by the modern world. When I got to my forties I began to realise the pursuit was not in the future but in embracing the MOMENT. I realised that when i stood before a classroom of students to teach I learnt from their youthful enthusiasm. I learnt to hold on to Spiritual growth and found the answer to life. It was not about achieving what others thought I should achieve but it was in loving the higher self. Of learning to embrace each moment of life. The learning to embrace all things...good and bad. I learnt to love mother nature, beautiful, simple things. I let go of what the world says we need to hold on to, and began to realise that the PURSUIT of HAPPINESS is in just learning to BE. This is a fantastic blog. Keep up the good work. Can't wait to read the books and read tommorow's words of wisdom. Thank you for the above, it is so touching and to the point.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm on a learning path. For years I have held onto so much and now like you mentioned, I'm in my forties, and I think that I am finally embracing things. Ruby, Jen, and a few other folks have helped me embrace so much.
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