Featuring Michelle Farris and Her Blog

Self esteem is an inside job!

Sometimes, we base our self-esteem on where we live,  our partner, or financial and career accomplishments. Unfortunately, these are external things that can change without warning. When that happens, our sense of self can be rocked by self-doubt. Basing self-esteem on outside things doesn't sustain us over the long haul. It's a quick fix, not a solution. 

What is self esteem?

• The ability to accept and love yourself as you are - mistakes and all.
• The ability to feel the love others have for you and not reject it.
• The ability to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually without delay.

Childhood Messages:

Here are some initial questions to get you started.

• As kids, what were the messages you learned around self-esteem?
• Was it considered to be conceited or self centered?
• Were accomplishments celebrated regularly?
• Did adults set the example by talking about their successes without acting better than everyone else?
• Was it okay to stand out and be special?

Most of us didn't grow up in families where self-esteem was discussed much or considered an important part of development. Today, it is a vital part of healthy parenting. Young children need constant reassurance and positive feedback regarding behavior in order to learn right from wrong and develop a healthy sense of self. As they become teenagers, they still need our praise for who they are becoming and their unique gifts.

If we as adults lack self-esteem, this becomes a challenge for us. We may not know how to model healthy self-esteem for our kids especially if we didn't learn it growing up.

If we had negative or critical messages in childhood it probably influenced the way we saw ourselves. We may have felt different than others or thought we didn't measure up. These thoughts followed us into adulthood and caused problems in our relationships, work, and ability to enjoy life. They were hard to shake because they become a habit.

What do we do?

How we think determines our mood so start paying attention to your thoughts. This can be unlearned with practice.
In 12 step programs, writing a personal inventory of strengths and weaknesses help us understand ourselves in a new light. By examining what works and what doesn't we can become accountable to change the things we can. This builds self esteem because when we have the courage to confront something, self esteem goes up a bit. We feel proud that we took action.

Writing exercise.

In Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a great exercise that targets resentment but also addresses behavior and self esteem. Here are the steps.

• Write something or someone you resent. Tell the story.
• Write how this resentment affects you.
• Write out what you contributed to it, your reactions, thoughts and emotions.
• Have you ever had this feeling before? If so, find the pattern.

Getting it out on paper helps get to the root of the issue. Keep writing until you see your part. If you write about childhood abuse, the "your part" will be blank. There is no personal responsibility in abuse suffered. Usually, the relief comes from realizing your part in the situation which creates empathy for others.

Tips for Improving Self Esteem

• Write the above exercise on issues affecting self esteem.
• Acknowledge your individual talents and gifts.
• Do what you love! It makes you happy.
• Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself. Making mistakes is how we learn!
• Join a support group such as Al-Anon or one that focuses on self-esteem.
• Seek your own therapy if you need additional help.

I hope this helps! Call or text me at (408)800-5736 or email me at mft@counselingrecovery.com for a free phone consultation. Want more? Sign up to get my blog updates http://www.eepurl.com/1myAP!

Featuring Minoti Vaishnav

I'm the Founder and Executive Director of Prophecy Girl Films, and am a screenwriter, a musician and songwriter. I have two albums out – The Fictional Truth (2010) and Secret Garden (2013). Both albums were self-produced, written and released. In spite of not being signed to a label, the music video for the first single “So Will You” went viral with over 100,000 views. My songs have played on radio stations around the world.

On the film and television front,  I started writing my first sitcom at age 14. At age 18, I studied the craft of writing for film under Academy Award® nominee Tom Abrams. A few years later, I graduated with a degree in Screenwriting at California State University Northridge. I then went on to work in different aspects of film, including outreach on the Emmy® nominated HBO documentary American Winter, composing music and coordinating outreach for the documentary film Let Them Eat Cake, and event production for the International Documentary Association where I received my first writers assistant credit for the 28th Annual IDA Documentary Awards. Recently, my screenplays have been selected at The Beverly Hills Film Festival and the Creative World Awards.  
I have also ghost-written a Vampire script that went into production in 2013, and wrote and produced a short film called R.I.P. Last year I was selected to write and direct a pilot for Phillip Kim Marra's show 3 Orbs of Light. The series pilot, starring Rachel Bailit (Festival In Cannes, Sugar Happens), Cali T. Rossen (Along Came Polly, Still Alice), Corinne LeClaire (My Mother's Hairdo), and Robert Weiner (The Dinner, Off Leash) is currently in post-production. Working on the show not only gave a voice to my writing, but also taught me a lot about being a showrunner and co-executive producing a show. I am also currently producing a documentary mini-series called Being Independent.

 

I support film related non-profits like the Alliance for Women in Media and the International Documentary Association. AWM supports the hiring of more women in media, and fosters career development for women interested in pursuing a career in media. The IDA supports the documentary filmmaking community with fiscal sponsorship, events and educational programs. I also support anyone trying to be an independent artist and make it on their own because they're actually out there pursuing their dream and putting in the heard work it takes to make it. 
The reason I support these entertainment based organizations is because in the arts - be it music, writing, or film - most major

opportunities are only available to the privileged, and nepotism is widely prevalent. The organizations I support independent talent and nurture those who want to learn their crafts and break into the industry even if they don't know anyone in the business. 

 

I'm currently funding a Kickstarter campaign to help get more on my scripts into festivals. Getting into festivals is a crucial step as a writer, and I'm hoping people will support me as an independent artist just like I support them! The link to my Kickstarter ishttps://www.kickstarter.com/projects/minoti/the-screenplay-festival-submission-project

 

www.minotimusic.com - Official Website

www.prophecygirlfilms.com - Website for my company

www.twitter.com/minotiblee - Twitter

www.facebook.com/minotimusic - Facebook Fanpage

www.instagram.com/minotimusic - Instagram

www.tumblr.com/thatfandomlovingsinger - Tumblr

 

 

 

 

 

Featuring Musician Carlos Wilde

I have gotten to know Carlos a little bit over the past year or a little more. I met him in the group Stooshpr. I have come to know and love his music. Recently I have noted he has gone number one on ReverbNation Singer Songwriter National Charts for Spain. I can't say congratulations enough to him!

Recently he has posted he is raising money for a new project. Until September 7th, he is running a promotion on his EP "Not a Tortoise". It is a Name Your Price promotion. Please help Carlos support his endeavor, on this project. Plus you will listen to some great music!

In addition to raising money for his next project, he supports a foundation called CARE. This organization helps fight global poverty. He donates a portion of his proceeds to this organization. The link to the organization is http://www.care.org/.


Below are the links to follow Carlos.

http://www.reverbnation.com/carloswilde
https://www.facebook.com/CarlosWilde.Music
https://soundcloud.com/carlos-wilde
https://twitter.com/carlos_wilde
http://www.youtube.com/user/WildeCarlos

Does Loyalty Count When a Major Claim is Filed

 

This blog is slightly different than others I have posted in the past, but I think this needs to be addressed. This blog will show how unpassionate insurance companies can be.

Imagine sitting in your home and feeling safe. A home you built for your family. A home in which the walls protect your family and then tragedy strikes and it is all taken from you.

I have a friend, which I will not name in this blog, but he and his family lost everything in a home fire that started from a bad compressor in their refrigerator. Most of his family was able to leave the home safely. Unfortunately they lost one family member, their lab.

My friend is someone I have known since high school. He has turned into an exceptional man. He is a fireman and an EMT. Daily he puts his life on the line. He is a true hero. The type of person I want my kids to look up to.

The reason for this blog is to raise awareness of what an insurance company is capable of doing. This family, not just he and his wife, his whole family have used this insurance company for years. They have, just within their family more than paid for his house ten times over in at least car insurance and home owner’s premiums. This family is starting to rebuild their lives and their home. Happiness is in the air, a new start. Then the letter comes, their insurance company is dropping them because of the claim they filed when they lost their home to a fire.

Now this fire was started because of a faulty appliance. This was completely unexpected. I want to raise awareness, that I don’t feel this is right for an insurance company to drop a paying customer because of a claim. I had to agree when his brother said, “Bet they didn’t have a problem cashing your checks.”  I bet they didn’t.

Insurance is supposed to be there in case of accidents. With all of the disasters that are happening in this world, that are beyond an individual’s control, is this the norm? Do you feel it’s right for an insurance company to drop a customer after filing a claim? Isn’t that the purpose of paying for insurance?

Personally, I feel if this happens to you or someone you know, call your insurance commissioner. Fight for what you pay for. The more people who stand up against companies like this, the more likely change is to happen.